Hulk Warns 'Tremendous Carnage' If We Don't Elect Him

Crowd Flees As Hulk Actively Morns Victims

SAN ANTONIO, TX - The Incredible Hulk opened with his thoughts and prayers after a super-villain tragedy that left another U.S. city in shambles. He also said that reports that he was somehow involved in the incident were lies. "Never met Agents. Don't have deals, OK, you understand,” the Hulk said.

Critics worry that the Hulk only hires other mutant superheros. And many estimate his business deals make millions from rebuilding damage. The Hulks comments, aimed to clear up the matter, further clouded the issue for some.

The Hulk elaborated that Agents “have strong leader” and that they look “not so dumb now.” He said, “If they did, fine. But don’t know. You know, people say was them, might have been, could have been. But in fairness — don’t know. You know, and not saying because they, ‘Hulk smart lead everybody’ — fact is, you know, they not know.”

The Hulk was in Texas to host a re-election fundraiser on Saturday. The event from 1 to 4 p.m. will feature a barbecue as well as offerings from sponsors. There will be live music, dancing and other family-friendly activities.

A $350 donation and RSVP are requested.

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