There Is No Spoon

They fit a chip into a Spoon - sold for two hundred dollar
Your Spoon has low battery - it sadly is not solar

Please download Firmware 2.0 - via bluetooth pairing
Phone app requires OS update - and a little swearing

Spoons require login now - TFA in several weeks
All passwords have been stolen - notice: server breach

Try Spoon Subscription Plus - your trial is concluded
Subscription fee to increase - Lifetime Member excluded

Spoon Inc. has been acquired - accept new Terms of Service
Founders cash stock options - employees growing nervous

Notice: Spoon service shutting down - but thank you for the cash
Spoon is gone, there is no Spoon - it's electronic trash

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